I've accepted Christ since I stopped writing this blog. I've had three children. I've changed careers. There has been a lot that has changed.
I realize now that karate was an idol. Karate isn't bad or good on its own, but it was definitely filling a space in my life that it was never meant to fill. Tools should not fill spaces in your life. You need them or you don't and they fulfill a job, and that is about it. Karate is just a tool, but for me and for many other people it was about an identity. I was a karateka, or really a karate person. It described who I was. I know people spend their life practicing karate, and they fill their lives with all things karate and sometimes they build beautiful dojo and have stories about how karate changed their life, but it is just movement. Movement created to hurt people. One could probably find the same type of meditative qualities practicing calligraphy, or just jogging. One would not need to devote themselves to the practice of karate. These are all side things.
Karate will also not make you a better husband, a better father, a better friend or a better person. It will not even build your body. The people that I had admired in the karate world dedicated their entire life to karate. They trained relentlessly in pursuit of something. I don't even know what that something is. Perfection? What is this exactly? As we age this perfection can only wane and stop. We breakdown. We might even sacrifice being a better husband, father or friend in pursuit of being a more perfect karate practitioner.
I know that my identity was wrapped up in being able to fight and protect myself. I thought it was cool and I built a persona in my head of what I wanted to be like, and this was detached from reality. I do have skills, and they have helped me in very slim situations, but I'm not sure anything would be different if I hadn't had these skills. They don't help me live, and they don't help me lead my family. They are subordinate and superlative.
I guess I will end by saying that karate should not be your identity. It is not an identity. It is fleeting at best. It should have its place. A very small place, and the rest of your time should be spent living.
